If all the Chinese in the world jumped at the same time, would the world that we know end? Would continental plates drift apart? Would the earth be thrown off its axis? There is no scientifically accepted answer to these questions; but that these questions are asked at all only goes to show how fascinating China and its people can be.
How do you know you’re not Chinese, have Chinese roots, had been Chinese in a previous lifetime or are meant to be Chinese in the next one? It’s easy to tell.
1. You know you’re not Chinese in this lifetime, a previous one, or the next when you find yourself googling ‘how to learn Chinese’.
2. You’re certainly not Chinese if you’re signing up for a Rocket Chinese course online. While it’s possible you’ve simply strayed too far from your roots and hence, did not have the time to ponder how to learn Chinese or actually spend time learning it, your inability to speak Chinese still makes you a non-Chinese. (Oh, and this is a brilliant example of a circuitous argument).
On the other hand, you are most probably Chinese if:
1. Your house always smells of spices.
2. Your biggest ambition is to go to Las Vegas.
3. You always speak below 10 decibels.
4. Your sofa is covered with plastic.
5. The elderly females in your family smell of mothballs.
6. You look like ten other people.
7. You eat chicken with its feet still attached.
8. Your eyes literally turn into slits when you smile or laugh.
9. Not only do you know what a wok is, you actually own one.
10. You send money to relatives back in the mainland.
11. You iron all your shirts.
12. You enjoy eating a thousand-year-old egg.